.junior.high.and.[sophie].hall.

The A.L.L. program really pulled me away from the friends I had made at my original elementary school, so starting Junior High, I had a fresh slate (somewhat) to start with, and made friends mostly through percussion. I became friends with Jake Forsyth and Cameron Jestice. Over the next 3 years we went through a lot of stupid drama and things I regret saying and doing. I was a total douche and treated them with very little respect. I knew that they were good kids and I lied to them about things that were completely unnecessary.

The advanced percussion class was moved in with the symphonic band, thus I was moved with Sophie Hall. I don’t remember the dynamics of us becoming friends, but I do remember it happened fast and I wasn’t upset about that. I started hanging out with her at lunch and hanging out with Cameron and Jake less. I loved how much Sophie and I had in common and how much we were able to co-exist, unlike Jake and Cameron.

I first started… what you would probably call dating… being with Sophie, somewhere in the midst of Junior High and high school. It probably happened more towards high school, but I’m such a space case I can’t remember. I do remember hanging out with her at her house for the first time, and knowing that her parents loved me right off the bat. They loved me because I made her happy… mostly. Basically for those of you that have watched One Tree Hill, Sophie and I had a very Nathan and Peyton relationship, minus the sex. We were happy but very volatile to one another. It was so stupid that I let her believe half of the crap we talked about. She always knew I was gay, I mean come on… It’s pretty obvious, but I think she wanted me to be straight so badly that she pushed aside the fact that we never kissed, and never did much other than watching movies and talk, so that she could have a “relationship” with Chase Pont.

The façade that I built all throughout junior and senior high school is brilliant. If someone wanted to write a book on how to act straight and live a happy gay life through high school, I think I’d be a pretty good source… other than the complete douche bag jocks of the school who can’t accept gay people at all; I pretty much had the “keys to high school life: map” in my pocket. I feel like I convinced enough people to satisfy myself and keep me from going completely bonkers.

As junior high ended Sophie and I became much closer. We spent a crap load of time together and I can’t believe how much I loved and hated her at the same time. My first two years of high school I did both American Fork and Pleasant Grove in order to “challenge” myself and allow me to take Japanese. American Fork brought a whole new lifestyle of partying for me. Although I never drank and did any drugs I went to many parties where those things were openly used. By this time, I had started working at Chili’s and was making enough money to support a happy high school life. I was able to provide what I wanted for myself, and even cover a little of what I thought I needed and didn’t get from my parents.

The first party I went to I got a ride from a girl I’d met in English. Her name was Kenzie Smith. Kenzie compared to Sophie (my current… I guess you could say “girlfriend”) was night and day. Sophie is a good girl. Kenzie well… isn’t. I ended up driving her car home from a couple of the parties she took me to, because she got really wasted… Basically I never told Sophie about Kenzie, because Kenzie liked me and was much more aggressive about it. I’m glad that she was always drunk when she “made her move” because it was easier to act into it, when she really didn’t know how I was reacting. Mind you to this day she probably doesn’t remember kissing me, and I wish I could forget. As proof of me being gay, to those of you doubting it, I haven’t ever been so repulsed in my life. Kenzie made me sick. Don’t get me wrong she’s really pretty and has a lot going for her, but her kissing me was like licking a bag of horse shit and expecting not to vomit.

After several ‘break-ups’ Sophie and I went through I finally told Kenzie I didn’t want to party with her anymore, and that she should realize it wasn’t worth it. I told her I wanted to make things work with Sophie and it wasn’t going to work if I continued to hang with her. A load of crap. All of it. I was so integrated in lies at this point it’s ridiculous. Sophie and I grew together. We both have become people that are so different from the 8th grade kids we were 5 years ago. I guess that’s what happens…