.high.school.[drama].

Working at chili’s I was integrated in an environment much like high school. If you’ve ever heard the song “High School Never Ends” by bowling for soup, I’m suggesting you listen to it. I knew that although I was in high school, and everyone says it’s amazing, that the pissy parts of it were going to continue through all of my life, not just end when high school did

As a precursor to my High School story, and my coming out, I would like to say this. I waited to come out till after high school, because I knew the superfluous judgment that floats in the halls, and I didn’t want to be the topic of conversation. I dealt with Tyler coming out in high school and seeing the horror it brought. I knew I didn’t want that. So lying about who I was and living the ultimate façade was the way I was going to enjoy high school and be the most of myself that was possible without coming out.

I really wish I had known a lot about high school before diving in. Someone should’ve told me take choir, drama, and spirit team ALL three years… I’m sure someone did tell me, but I obviously didn’t listen. But looking back, if I had done it any other way I wouldn’t have the friends I have now and I wouldn’t be half as good a person. I know that I made seriously impaired judgment calls in an attempt to be happy, and it worked… sort of.

Splitting classes between AF and PG helped me see both sides of who I wanted to be in life. I made friends with a kid I KNEW was gay at AF and continued being friends with my “girlfriend” at PG. I had the ‘best of both worlds’ to quote the fatty Miley Cyrus. It was perfect and perfectly flawed.

One thing I started in high school was a writing book. Or what I’ve come to call a book full of crap or my little book of lies… Because as I wrote, I wrote about girls, and dating, and drama… all of this revolved around me pretending to be straight… It’s a web of lies that makes spiders’ look stupid. I would post the whole book, but I doubt that would be as interesting as I hope it would be. I will quote my façade self here and there and attempt to make sense of the integrated drama that was high school. Also, my tacher required us to answer certain questions, and some of them explain a lot about me so I will post according to what I feel appropriate.

I don’t remember much from my sophomore and Junior Years because so much of it was lies and deceit that I have since phased much of it out of my life in an attempt to forget the trauma I wrought on those around me. I know I broke Sophie’s heart more than once, and broke my own by not being myself and sacrificing who I was for ultimate happiness in high school.