.[day.of].

It's about 4:30 and I'm still in bed. But I'll be getting up in about half an hour to get showered and dressed to head to the hospital.... Had kinda a crappy night. Got in a couple arguments. Dealt with stupid drama from people that I hardly even care about. And meanwhile my brain runs about a million miles an hour thinking about my surgery. It's going to be so insane to look in the mirror and not see... Well me. I know that sounds really stupid. But you get accustomed to seeing yourself, and then you go and do something like this. And well. It's different. But I'm so excited!!

I already kinda had a melt down on Facebook about this but yeah... Lemme copy it so I can bring you up to speed....

"You know what I'm sick of. I'm sick of people over exaggerating the influence of slang terms. Let's be honest. If I want to say something. And yes, I've "thought before I said it" then I'm going to say it. Man kind puts power behind words. The impact something someone says has on you is simply up to you. So take your opinion and shove it. There you go. I thought about it! Oh and as far as blacks calling themselves niggers, whites - crackers, gays - queers, lesbians - dykes, and whatever else you can come up with. I say get over it. I could decide that the word alphabet means stupid inflamatory bitch, and you'd be mad? It's all your decision and interpretation."

so basically. I keep hearing people saythings like, "don't say 'that's so gay' because it's rude" and "don't say 'that's retarded' because people who are retarded will be offended". Well number one. I'm gay. And I say that's gay ALL THE TIME!!! it's a figure of speech it's not supposed to be an association to being gay. If that was how it is people would say. Oh my that pizza is dumber than being gay. Or dumber than a gay person. It's ridiculous. Half of the people upset about the "that's gay" comment ARENT EVEN GAY!!! so I say get over it.

As far as the "retard" goes. That's a little more understandable. I think mybiggest frustration is that, majority of the time that I'm saying "retard" or "retarded" I'm mocking myself. And if I want to call myself retarded, then by golly I'm going to call myself retarded. Honestly. I don't think that it's THAT big of a deal, if when I do something stupid that I say, " sorry I'm so retarded." but maybe it is. Maybe the world is going to freeze over because one human being used a word in the English language that connotates retardation. Language is an interpretive influencer. If someone was yelling at me in Japanese, I might know a few of the things they are saying, but I'm not going to be mad, because of the words they are using, I'm going to be mad because they are yelling at me. Same goes for using these terms. People aren't saying "that's gay" or "I'm retarded" to be offensive. It's a slang term they have chosen to use. Give them their free agency and back off.

More updates from my surgery will come once I'm coherent enough to write:) love y'all!!!