.timeline.[break].

Tonight has been extremely interesting. And I want to touch on the topic even though it’s not going along with the story. It’s currently 3:01 AM and I have so much running through my mind I am incapable of sleeping. I have that feeling of loneliness when I’m surrounded by so much love. I think with coming out, I have had so much of a good reaction that I’m destined to have… withdrawals (?)… from the happiness. I can’t explain how I feel. I’m so happy that I’m finally being me, but at the same time it’s sad.

SONG OF THE NIGHT – “I Look to You” by Whitney Houston

LYRICS
As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
Im lost without a cause
After giving it my all

Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to

I look to you
I look to you

After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you

And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song

I look to you

After losing my breath
There's no more fighting left
Sinking to rise no more
Searching for that open door

And every road that I've taken
Lead to my regret
And I don't know if Im gonna make it
Nothing to do but lift my head

I look to you
I look to you

And when all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you

And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song

I look to you

(my levies have broken, my walls have come)

Coming down on me

(crumbling down on me)

All the rain is falling

(the rain is falling, defeat is calling)

Set me free

(i need you to set me free)

Take me far away from the battle
I need you
Shine on me

I look to you
I look to you

After all my strength has gone
in you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you

and when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song

I look to you
I look to you




I just want to say before I upload the next post, that I owe this blog to everyone. I owe it to myself to be honest with who I am and all of that, but more importantly, I owe it to all of the people in my life to have this much more insight into my life, and why things happened the way they did. I needed people to know why I said and did the things I did because in coming out, I have realized how much pain I caused all of the people that I lied to throughout the years.

Also, I would like to quickly thank my wonderful friend Shaunzi for helping me focus my writing; Editing what she can and keeping what I have to say relevant to the story. If you didn’t know, one thing about me is that I’m extremely OCD. I have written all of the posts for my blog in advance so that I can make sure the whole story is cohesive and fluent. I have been stuck on my leaving of high school because this is where the story gets truly interesting. Again, I have to thank Shaunzi. If it weren’t for her I would’ve been stuck on graduation for a lot longer than a few days.