.timeline.[break].

I don’t need to be cured. Just like I don’t need to cut myself to feel, or think.

From now on, no one rewires my mind but me.

Back in Diego, the doctors said that I could learn to control my behavior, and I have. You all helped, in one way or another.

But you know what? It’s not my behavior I’m worried about anymore. It’s yours.

That’s why you won’t be seeing me for a while, maybe a long time. David and I are staying out here in the wild.

You all say you need us. Well, maybe you do, but not to help you. You have enough help, with the millions of bubbly new minds about to be unleashed, with all the cities coming awake at last. Together, you’re more than enough to change the world without us.

So from now on, David and I are here to stand in your way.

You see, freedom has a way of destroying things

You have your New Smokes, your new ideas, whole new cities and New Systems.

Well . . . we’re the new Special Circumstances.

Whenever you push too far into the wild, we’ll be here waiting, ready to push back.

Remember us every time you decide to dig a new foundation, dam a river, or cut down a tree. Worry about us. However hungry the human race becomes now that the pretties are waking up, the wild still has teeth. Special teeth, ugly teeth. Us.

We’ll be out here somewhere – watching. Ready to remind you of the price the Rusties paid for going to far.

I love you all. But it’s time to say good-bye, for now.

Be careful with the world, or the next time we meet, it might get ugly.

- Tally Youngblood

In a strange turn of events, I’m left with 2 biographies to post/write, and no motivation to do at least 1 of the 2. I have a core of what I want to say, but I’m lost as to where to start. Do I put ALL of the problems aside and treat everything like its… ok… when it’s not? I read nearly the entire book Specials by Scott Westerfeld (Book 3 of the Uglies series) after remember how vivid it left me. I love when you read something, and the meaning the author (or the character written by the author) is trying to portray comes across so bluntly into your life. As a reader THAT is what I look for. Something that can intrigue me and make me contemplate what I’M doing with my life. What I can do to make the world a better place. Who I need to be to make people around me happy, and more importantly make ME happy.

So should I write post when I’m not motivated. No. Should I do or say something that isn’t 100% what I need. No.

I apologize to you as a reader, if I’ve left you hanging. Left you wanting more… But as of now. It seems I’m going to have to skip at least 1 post. Matter of fact, here’s the biography I feel I can post right now.

.senior.year.biographies.[sophie].

This encompasses so much more than just senior year. I would say since the last major “break-up” Both Sophie and I have grown exponentially. I find myself almost missing the immaturity. I see my friends struggling through high school, and honestly feel a longing to be back there. With college I can choose not to be friends with people that don’t like me, and rarely ever see them. In high school, you’re crammed into a building full of hormonal pissy teenagers. And guess what? You see everyone. Even the people you don’t like. No matter how much you try, you’re bound to see someone you don’t like, or doesn’t like you, at least once a day. So why do I miss that? Well, I’ll tell you why. Because It’s consistent. I’ve learned in the last week or two, that I hate inconsistencies. I don’t like when people act or appear one way and then completely change overnight. I don’t like when I’m not in control of whats going on around me. I don’t like when I say something I shouldn’t and have to go to a class everyday and regret what I did. Regret how stupid and desperate I made myself seem. Sorry to rant. But, college is stressful. It’s completely inconsistent and puts a wrench in my OCD blender, crashing the tiny metal blades into the chunk of mass-produced hardware. All of this just so happens to fall under Sophie, because through all of my relationship with Sophie I have been able to rely on it being consistently… … broken. We’re both so messed up, yet so put together. I think Sophie would agree with me that no matter how much the world throws at us, no matter how much either of our families can make us crazy, it doesn’t matter. We are strong people, and we can stand up for ourselves in any kind of weather.

Sophie will always be listed among my BEST friends. I have always said, it’s hard to pick ONE best friend, but that I have many. And Sophie definitely fits in that category. She is important to me, even if I don’t make that very clear. Through everything with her, I always hoped it would end like it has. With a “happily ever after” even though it may not be the conventional HEA, it’s more than good enough for Walter. For Walter’s OCD consistency loving brain.