.senior.year.biographies.[shaunzi].

Here it is. I decided today that I'm done being... whatever I was. I wasn't mad, I was simply frustrated. But, through it all, Shaunzi is among my best of friends. So here is the last of my biographies. To those of you who may be saying, "why didn't he write one for me?" I simply admit, I chose those of my friends that I felt made the biggest impact on my senior year alone. So all of my other friends that I have left out so to speak, are still important to me.

This is the final of my biographies. Shaunzi is last, but not because she is any more important to me than my other friends, but that she has helped me more than I will ever be able to explain. She was the first person I came out to, and has always been there for me.

Shaunzi, being the “boy-loving” girl she is, had a huge crush on me. When I was dating Sophie, she hated me and always said that Sophie was stupid for dating such a jerk. I was a jerk, and I deserved her judgment. The last time I broke it off with Sophie and truly decided it was over, and I was done pretending, Shaunzi had decided she still wanted to be friends with me, which sufficiently ended her relationship with Sophie, which was never really a healthy one (in my opinion). I am glad that this happened because if not, Shaunzi and I would not be half the friends we are today. Shaunzi being in love with me, and me clearly being gay… has and continues to present a big problem for our friendship. I had to figure out how to get her off of me, without coming out. So I basically decided to be a super douche and tell Shaunzi to back off or else. Haha :) She would probably say I yelled at her… which is pretty close to what happened… I think that telling her she needed to get over me really NEVER worked. I knew that she would always love me, but that, hopefully, the love would change into another kind of love… There has been a lot of trauma with this problem, and it has put a big fork in our friendship. In starting college Shaunzi moved to logan to attend Utah State. I stayed home. In growing apart, Shaunzi has realized what an integrated part of her life I have been. I know it’s not the same for a girl to get over a guy, especially when the guy is so freaking awesome (self-righteous?, No!!!) but I have had the hardest time understanding why it’s such a traumatic process. I simply have to realize that it's not the same for me as it is for her, and that we BOTH have things that need to be done to move past this little "problem" :)

As the year progressed we grew closer and closer. Near inseparable. It was very bittersweet because I wanted to tell her the truth about myself and not have to lie to her anymore. It sucked lying to her and lying to everyone around me…. But, Senior Year couldn’t have been better if I didn’t have her… she made everything so amazing… EVERYTHING I’m so glad we found one another and ended the year on a high note… I hope that our lives, just like high school, will end on high notes, and that we both find who/what makes us truly happy.